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Funny Tour Quotes on Twitter

This year’s tour effort was certainly a step up…

We drove over 3,000 miles in 9 days, spent over 40 hours in a very tightly-packed Envoy, and played North, South, East, and West of the places we call home (Owensboro, KY to Lafayette, Indiana to Chicago, IL to Paducah, KY to Russellville, AR to Dallas, TX to Jackson, MS to Acworth, GA to Bowling Green, KY).

Derek from Sempervivi kept a journal and tweeted out some of the funnier quotes on Twitter using the hash tag #tourquotes.

This was actually meant to have a different punctuation: “Denim’s tough. If you’re not a gross person, your jeans won’t get gross.” It’s sound hygiene advice, especially when trying to pack light for the road. The wisdom continues in the following tweet…

It’s all about washing your folds. The rest of your body will follow suit.

I don’t quite remember what this was in response to, but I do remember saying it! It wasn’t my proudest moment…

I would never tell my grandma to shut up! But she did worry it would snow if we went “all the way to Chicago.”

The victim was kept anonymous.

This is sound theological advice, if you think about it. I was drunk though.

I honestly didn’t know this, and it still boggles my mind.

This was in response to my son’s dinosaur books changing the way Jurassic Park taught me dinosaurs should look.

True Story: Josh Lott (former drummer of Stellar Kin) has a home run by intelligent machines. The end is near…

I always talk in my sleep. Sarah could probably write a novel, or at least a coffee table book.

Andy and Tyler Quotes

The first half was said when we turned a corner and almost hit a jaywalker. The second half was said once we realized it was indeed a lady. Tyler delivered it like a well-timed Norm Macdonald joke!

Did I mention the Envoy was packed TIGHT?!?

More theological wisdom from Andy.

Derek Sneaks One In

We were trying to find a street called Woodrow Wilson.

This is not a quote, but Derek totally called my bullshit on this one!

There were so many John Cena jokes.

That was just the tip of the iceberg. It’s probably a good thing Derek didn’t record everything we said. If he did, he was wise not to tweet all of it… especially from our night in Georgia and what my Dad said about Cooper Manning (Andy is still recovering)!

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